Friday, 25 April 2014


I don't want to be hanging from the crescent again, neither touching the earth nor roaming the stars.

I want you to not take me for granted, to want my happiness, to let me want your happiness.
 I am afraid of you this time, afraid I might have opened up too easily, afraid I might have let you tread where you should not tread.
 You came with your heavy black boots and the ground shook.
My nails dig into your flesh, red marks spoil your pale arm.
But when I look up, I see no twitching traits, no painful expression.
It is as if didn't exist. Maybe I am a ghost that you can't see?
I look at your arm again. The scarlet marks still exist.
Have your senses numbed in this misanthropic world?
I can't blame you
but why didn't mine do the same?

Did I fall?
Or am I still standing?

I don't know.
I always don't know.
You always don't know.
We're floating.
One time you catapult me up to Orion
Next minute, I smell grass and my head is stuck in a hole
I blink
An infinite blueness cradles me, the stars wink at me
I blink
Maggots creep about my body lying on the moss

Home is where the heart is.
Mine is where yours is but
where is yours?

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Tread Softly Because You Tread on Your Memories.

The past is a dead land;
Barren soil, skulled earth
Filled with either stitched mouths
Or pain-staking screams
No middle-ground for serenity

I wanted to bury the past
Annihilate it from my life
Imprisoning it in a sepulcher
For it to never see the light of day
To never have a visitor touch the granite
Of its last remains
Cold walls seperating it from the here and now and tomorrow
Like an ancient spell, bound to isolation

But there it lies in its tomb under the willow
As I weep over the cold stone
The stench of death reeking
into my wet nostrils
Decay gnawing at me.

Thanatos, I invoke you
Come and take this panorama of madness
Dig out the crumbs of yesterday
and throw them into Hades!

Faciam ut mei memineris.

I'll make you remember me.
But if I will, one day, be yesterday's child
and when with all my brothers and sisters
I will roam the naked land of ruin
What will you remember?
I will be dead.
As dead as I can be.
Will you scratch at the wall of the sepulcher?
Will you slide down in despair?
What will you remember?

The past is a dead land;
beware, traveler,
tread softly because you tread on
your memories.

(c) Hella Grichi

Friday, 18 April 2014

An Explosion of Stardust

We couldn't touch each other's skin
My hands infiltrate everything
touch every little particle inside you
cradle your soul
caress your very being
but never your hand.

I wanted to feel your chest pounding
and your heart gasping
and your lungs aching
I wanted to press you against me
You and I,

an explosion of stardust.

Be the acid that burns my skin
Consume me.

We couldn't touch each other's skin
As if my touch was Holy Water
and your flesh cursed by God
My fingers crave to sin
your skin aches to burn
The hissing sound is near.

Be the acid that burns my skin
Consume me.

You and I, an explosion of stardust
but it seems we have to 
and writhe
and burn
in blue flames 
before we can explode.

Thursday, 17 April 2014

Exquisite Pain

But I couldn't find the right words again.
You see, the moment you part your lips to light the dynamite in my ears
Everything around me disappears
as I wait for the bang to paralyze my organs

and I float.
In oceans so far and violet
Swollen and in pain I float
and float.

The pangs of pain hammering against my skin
so hard, I fear it ripping open
Cracking my bones
and spilling the marrow.
You expose me.
You strip me.

The orbs of your eyes gaze into me
Me, the invisible little girl
the lovelorn damsel
though not in distress
but just irrevocably
and morbidly in love.

Rip me open.
Strip me.
Look inside me,
explore my very core
Cut me open
Crack my skull
Pierce me with your gaze
Spill me, kill me
I want to die in your abyss.
Impaled upon the stake we're at
I bleed passion into you
as your vampyric eyes
swallow and swallow
I want to die in your abyss.

Paul Delaroche - La Jeune Martyre

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Opeth Song Name Story

By the Pain I see in Others, I swear that the Fair Judgment you wanted to grant me Deliverance with has caused me nothing but suffering. For Absent Friends tried to cheer me up but the Wreath of loyalty you gave me was already set ablaze. You were my Master and I your Apprentice but once the Drapery Falls, anybody can see the Bleak pale face of their murderer. I was lost in a Reverie, in a Harlequin Forest and these Isolation Years prevented me from my rightful Hours of Wealth. I wonder if Atonement and regret will ever strike you for the Burden you bear is great. Aren't you afraid of the Ghost of Perdition? I was your Black Rose Immortal but you could not seep from my Nectar. We stood there in the dead of Night near the Silent Water, awaiting the Advent of a new dawn. But you were the Lotus Eater that shattered my Porcelain Heart. I had no choice but To Bid You Farewell and forget the April Ethereal we had spent together. Oh my Demon of the Fall, if Karma exists, have you no fear of The Face in The Snow that will not cease haunting you? Hope Leaves and as I lean on the Windowpane in the house Under The Weeping Moon, I desperately try to Rid myself Of The Disease. You were not there In My Time of Need and you never will. There is Credence in my word and you can be sure that you are not The Apostle In Triumph. It is Time To Bid you Farewell and announce the Epilogue: Remember Tomorrow for it will be The Moor of your dreams without the precious Face of Melinda to guide you through the Moonlapse Vertigo.

Sunday, 13 April 2014

My Star-and-Sky-themed Short Writings.

You left me under the stars
Will you find me there again?
I see you walking down the sublunar valley of nostalgia
Are you scanning the place
for the light in my eyes?
Do your fingertips ache for the burning touch?
Can you taste the bittersweet craving
that the grey smoke seeping from your lips
can never extinguish?
Yes, you left me under the stars
But dear, look up
I'm riding shooting stars now.

And if I could choose one starry constellation to lose myself in for light years, I'd choose the one under your name every time and lose myself and lose myself and lose myself.

As the sky's colors dance in a sea of blue, violet and pink, I gaze upon the immense entity above me. I can feel the beauty around me despite the ugliness that emanates from humanity.

You are just like the sky.

I need nothing else but to see you smile your honest, peaceful, genuine smile. A smile that paints my own sky blue, violet and pink. That turns the monochrome firmament into a sea of colorful splashes, strokes and blotches. A smile that is one of the most precious pieces of art ever painted upon the canvas of my life.
"Dive", my heart says.
"Retreat", my grey cells alarm me.
Interregnum reigns inside of me. Where am I supposed to tread, where am I supposed to turn away? We met at the fork of the road. I don't know which way we'll take. Nobody takes a step. I can hear the suspended breathing of my exhausted lungs. I have been running for so long, on my own, down narrow lanes, into mazes, out into meadows and back into obscure groves. Endlessly wandering, infinitely erring. I am tired. I want to lie down and dream without having to set a limit to my horizon. See, the sky is not my limit. My limits lie beyond Orion.

He smiled like the star he is. The impact of his spark seemed to last as long as the light years that separate him - a dweller of Orion - from me, a cornflower upon the earth. 

Picture (c)

Tuesday, 8 April 2014


She couldn't stop dreaming of distant misty hills and raindrops surfing on the carglass as she drove away from all that she wanted to exterminate, of distant forests and a warm mug between her hands in a wooden house. A notebook lying on the oaken table waiting for ink to tarnish its virginity seduced her to spend hours on consuming her thoughts. She couldn't stop dreaming of living. Sometimes he appeared in her visions, holding her tightly but most of the time she saw herself alone, hugging her knees and humming sad tunes to the rhythm of the midwinter breeze.

Photo (c)

Listening to John Mayer's "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" gave birth to this

We sat on the couch holding the two mugs we had bought at the same store together.
His legs were dangling from the end of the couch while his head rested on my lap. I put my mug on his bushy hair just to tease him. He looked up at me, upside-down like my thoughts whenever his warm brown eyes pierced my soul. He smiled and pouted in a way that told me "I love this but I will play the vexed". I stretched out my tongue and laughed. He stopped pouting and just intensely focused on looking into my eyes. I blushed as he rose, putting both our mugs on the table, sitting down and pulling me over to sit on his lap, facing his angelic features. It was just wonderful to put my arms around his neck and look at his face, full of love, full of warmth, full of safety. Yes, I remember his glares, the way he left me waiting yesterday night, but all that is gone now. Here he is, in flesh and blood, today, now, in front of me, for me. What else mattered than his arms around my waist, John Mayer blasting from the speakers and his eyes hung on my lips? He couldn't resist and neither did I. In the fraction of a second, he kissed me, smashing me passionately on the couch. I heard my phone ring at that moment but I blacked out into a heavy trance.